


Helpless

by Sachi_Grace



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Serious Injuries, saimatsu exhange 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sachi_Grace/pseuds/Sachi_Grace
Summary: Kaede was grateful that she didn’t find this out when she was abroad. She couldn’t imagine what she would be doing, knowing that Shuichi was lying in a hospital bed, injured when she was a thousand and something miles away.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	Helpless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheDarkFlygon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkFlygon/gifts).



> Thank you to the Saimatsu Exchange for letting me join in. This was a lot of fun to do. Thank you TheDarkFlygon for the prompts. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Kaede was a very hard character for me to write, so I do hope that I did her justice. I am sincerely grateful to everyone's support.

Kaede sat in the hospital lobby with her fingers dancing across her thigh nervously. She was getting through Debussy’s Cathedral in her mind as she waited for one of the nurses to get her. Her heart was stuttering in her chest a few times as she tried to remind herself to breathe, and that Shuichi needed her to be calm and level headed. He needed her to not go into the worse conclusion; that was Kaito’s job. No, he needed her to be Kaede; she could do that much. She could tap her fingers against her thigh, playing notes of a song, and trying to keep a steady mind. She could try to keep the fear from overcoming her; she could keep her tears simmering in her eyes instead of letting them out in a boil. 

She was grateful that she didn’t find this out when she was abroad. She couldn’t imagine what she would be doing, knowing that Shuichi was lying in a hospital bed, injured when she was a thousand and something miles away. She could at least be grateful that she didn’t have to have the struggle of throwing everything into her luggage and taking the first plane that she could home. She was thankful that she was here, sitting in a chair with cushions that were just as unforgiving as hard plastic. She was grateful to be surrounded by disinfectant chemicals and blinding white that reflected the fluorescent lights heavily. 

Even trying to focus on remaining positive was just like water slipping out of her cupped hands. Just because she was here, didn’t mean much. She wasn’t holding Shuichi’s hand; she wasn’t in the room with him. No nurse or doctor had approached yet with how severe the injury was. All the information that she had was simply: he was injured and still in surgery. He should make it out alive, but Kaede had already thrown herself into a state of panic. Any little thing, any tiny thing, could go wrong. It would go wrong. She struggled to remember if Shuichi was allergic to anything. Metals, medicines, food, latex, any hospital gear. She tried to remember his blood type, just in case, for whatever reason, the medical staff didn’t have it on file. She tried to remember if he was someone that burned too quickly or if he was easily chilled. She didn’t know how to  _ help _ .

Putting her faith in Shuichi was easy. Putting her hope that he was going to be okay should be  _ easy _ . She was the level-headed one. She was endlessly optimistic, but with Shuichi and him on the bed and her so far away, it was as though reality reminded her that it just took one second. 

“Akamatsu!”

Kaede picked her head up to see Maki and Kaito coming through the hospital doors. It looked as though they threw on their clothes haphazardly. She never has seen Maki with her hair so wild and tangled before since the disastrous sleepover back in high school. Kaito’s usually gelled spikes were limp and covered his eyes and ears instead, having no time to style it. She felt her throat tighten, her voice aching as she saw them. Tears that were simmering couldn’t continue, she felt the first of many fall before she was hunched over into her lap, sobbing with a heart nearly broken by too many thoughts of what-ifs and hopeful prayers. 

“Hey…” She felt Kaito’s hand gentle and firm against her back, pulling her close towards him. She remembered how often he would nag her for a hug and how she would pretend not to hear him. Not out of rudeness. For whatever reason, it was the type of banter that had been between them. Even Shuichi and Maki couldn’t get a firm grip on that. “I’m guessing it’s pretty bad.”

“I don’t know,” Kaede gasped softly. “I haven’t...heard anything for a while.”

“We can assume no news is good news then,” Maki said, her no-nonsense practically a godsend right now. “I’m going to go see for myself.” She walked off towards the nurse’s station with clipped footsteps that would sound a lot more powerful if she was wearing heels.

Kaito clicked his tongue, “Be nice, HaruMaki,” he teased. Kaede could just guess that Maki had turned back to their direction. She could picture Maki’s infamous deadpanned stare boring down on them before turning back and continuing on her path. “So, what  _ do  _ you know?” Kaito asked gently.

Kaede thought about the day and how it played out. She made Shuichi coffee that morning, dark and bitter, just as he liked it. She remembered him stumbling into the kitchen not too long afterward, bags heavy under his eyes, and his golden hue dulled from lack of sleep. His hair disarrayed, the cowlick more prominent than usual. She remembered teasing him about forgetting to wipe away his eyeliner and how it smudged on the corner of his eye. He bantered back, teasing her about a lipstick incident not too long ago, and she replied by gently hitting his shoulder. She remembered him moving her bangs from her forehead to press a soft good morning kiss upon her brow. She remembered how he looked at her and how much  _ love  _ she felt swelling in her stomach and heart.

She thought about the day. She was teaching her students how to play the piano. During the times between, she was mastering her piece for her performance. She remembered getting a text message about how Shuichi wasn’t going to be able to make it for lunch, and that he hoped that her day was going well. She remembered going to the grocery store, getting things ready for dinner.

She remembered texting him, asking if he would come home.

“I...I was waiting for him to respond.” Kaede finally spoke, the pain in her throat dying enough to at least answer this much. “I was going to cook dinner. I was…” She was humming a song under her breath, a song that she was certain Shuichi would enjoy. He always liked the slower, more mellow of the classical songs. Something easy to sway to, because while he knew how to dance, he didn’t have the energy anymore. All of it poured into the detective work he was so proud of. “I was waiting for him to reply...he...Kirigiri-san called me told me there was an incident and…”

She didn’t even have time to hang up the phone before the hospital called her. “Now, I’m here.”

“Nothing about how he got injured?” Kaito pressed.

“He was shot.” Kaede felt bile rise into her throat, stomach-turning, but she swallowed it down, saying that made this too real. She could have  _ lost him _ . Her vision started to blacken at the corners; her chest was constricting, constricting-

“Breathe, Akamatsu, breathe.” Kaede didn’t realize that she had stopped. She forced herself to breathe, in as deep as she could, and held it for as long as she could before letting it out, expelling as much as she could. She did it again, keeping the mantra that she could do this. She could do this. She could do this. “Usually, Saihara doesn’t take any of the dangerous cases,” Kaito frowned, “so this must have been just as much as a shocker to him as it was to you.”

Maki must have come back at some point. “They told me that they’re stitching him up and moving him to a room. He’s going to be okay.” Maki said, her voice soft. “Only family will be able to see him when he’s there, but they’re sure that he’s going to be fine.”

“See? Saihara knows what’s up. He probably figured you were here and worrying over yourself.” Kaito gently rubbed her shoulders, and she felt the tension she was holding melting.

He was going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.

Kaede made a broken sound as she covered her face with her hands. “I knew he was going to be okay, but I just…”

“It’s scary.” Kaito agreed. Kaede jolted with the memory that Kaito had been in this position. Maki had been in this position. Back when Kaito’s lungs were failing, and he was so sickly, everyone was scrapping for even a thread of hope. Kaito had been so positive then, and he was so positive now, Kaede wasn’t sure where he had the strength. “It is terrifying to go through it. Maki told me that too, and you know her. She’s not easily scared. But you guys never gave up on me, and you didn’t give up on Shuichi. It’s okay to be afraid.”

Kaede looked up at him, rubbing her eyes.

“Besides, seeing you cry is going to remind him to be more mindful in the future.” Kaito continued, and Kaede couldn’t help but giggle. No, Shuichi would definitely be upset to hear that she had been crying, and he would undoubtedly do whatever he could to try to make it up to her even if he was in recovery mode and on forced vacation for a time. 

“Or he was simply at the wrong place and at the wrong time,” Maki hummed. “You can be mindful all you want, but when that happens, there’s nothing much you can do.” Kaede could see that being the case. Shuichi not being careful was a little bit of a stretch. “We’ll stay here until you can go see him. We’ll see him during regular visitor hours.”

“Okay.” Kaede murmured. “Thank you for staying with me.”

“What are friends for?!” Kaito proclaimed as Maki merely gave one of her rarest half-smiles in response.

X

Seeing Shuichi hooked up to machines and wires brought Kaede’s spirits down once again as she took a seat next to him. It felt surreal to see him lying on a white bed and machines beeping around him. She reached for his hand, warm and soft. She was mindful of the I.V that was sticking to his veins. She reached, gently tucked a strand of his hair away from his face, feeling the warmth of his cheek and the curve of his bone as she pushed it behind his ear. She watched his chest rise and fall, barely moving the blanket that tucked around him. He was going to be in a lot of pain, but they had him drugged enough to where the pain shouldn’t be too much of a problem. 

She closed her eyes as she leaned over the side of the bed, arms carefully folded as she continued to hold his hand. Emotional exhaustion took hold of her like a wave, her body heavy as bricks. She was in no shape to think about going home. It wasn’t fair if she was comfortable and he wasn’t. She also didn’t think it was appropriate for him to wake up and not see her there. 

She closed her eyes and allowed sleep to pull her right into its dark abyss.

Later, when the sun was at a high point and peering through the shaded windows, Kaede woke up to someone’s thumb gently caressing the back of her hand. She felt her shoulders and her back ache from the weird position that she slept in. She slowly felt her eyes flutter open, and she looked to see Shuichi’s golden ones, gently gazing down on her. His face was taut with pain.

She sat herself up, rubbing the last of the sleep from her eyes. She felt Shuichi’s grip tighten on her hand. Not like his usual grip, considering the needle, but it was comforting. It was grounding; he was there, and Kaede felt tears blur her vision again.

Wordlessly, Shuichi opened his arms towards her, and she crawled onto the side of the bed, mindful of the injury and wires as she wrapped herself into his embrace. She hated the smell of the sterilization shampoo took so much of his natural scent away. He was warm, and his embrace was just as gentle as she remembered it, if not more careful.

“I’m sorry.” Shuichi finally broke the silence, his voice wary and pained. “I’m so...so sorry, Kaede-san.”

“Shush,” Kaede whispered. “It’s…” Not okay. Never okay. “You’re alive. I was so scared that…”

“I was too,” Shuichi murmured. “I was fortunate. They told me that if it was just a few-”

“Stop,” Not now. Not right now. Shuichi seemed to understand, and she felt his fingers comb through her hair, gently pulling at the scalp before running his hand down the length again. “I love you.” She murmured. “I love you.”

“I love you too; I’m still sorry.” Shuichi murmured.

“I’m just glad you’re alive.” Kaede melted into his chest. He adjusted his hold. She worried for a moment that she was putting too much weight and he was hurting, but he didn’t say a thing. She trusted that he would tell her if he was in too much pain to do this. 

“Me too.” Shuichi agreed, his tone hushed in a whisper. 

“Kaito and Maki said they’ll swing by during regular visitor hours,” Kaede murmured.

“Hmm? Oh, they already did.” Kaede shot up a little at that, jostling him. Shuichi grimaced in pain; her eyes widened as she scrambled to get off of him. He grabbed her wrist to keep her from going back to the chair, but he didn’t make a move to offer her to come back into his chest. She supposed that he had endured as much pain as he could, and now it was just too much. “You were asleep. We felt guilty to wake you up.”

“Usually, Momota-kun is very loud, so I’m shocked I wasn’t awake.” Kaede frowned.

“You must’ve needed the rest,” the guilt that crossed his face made Kaede’s chest hurt. “I still am so sorry about…”

“Stop apologizing….” Kaede shook her head, “I’m... you’re alive, and that’s what matters. Okay? You keep taking care of yourself. When you come home, we’ll figure out how to take care of that injury together.”

“It has stitches.” 

Kaede was a little baffled as to why Shuichi would tell her that. Of course, he would have stitches. She was about to open her mouth to tease him about how high he might be when the implication hit her hard. It was going to be gross. It wasn’t going to be pleasant. Taking care of someone’s wound was going to be terrifying.

If she thought him alone on the hospital bed was scary, the stitches and all that it could mean would probably scare her just as much.

“Well, I’ll just have to endure it.” Kaede nodded, “I’ll make sure to read up on how to take care of the wound, so you don’t have to worry too much besides recovering.” The less stress she could put on his shoulders, the better. “Just focus...just focus on getting better. Okay?”

“I will.” Shuichi softly smiled at her, “Thank you for taking care of me, sweetheart.”

Kaede’s cheeks flushed a bright pink, and she couldn’t help but giggle, “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”


End file.
